under the rocks

I'm sinking in an ocean of confusion. Each step forward takes me to a place where nothing fits. It's a square peg in a circle hole. Comes close, but is never exactly right. Perhaps this is life, perhaps it's never meant to exactly fit until death. This isn't the right place for me. Maybe CT but I have a feeling it's not. The family doesn't fit. But life goes on. But maybe HE doesn't fit. I can't swim with this chain around my leg. It's a stand-still always a stand-still. Don't do anything until has figured out what he wants to do. We are pulling in different directions and there's no middle to all of this.
You'll find me in the ocean, underneath the rocks watching everyone swim above me.