Futile

I've tried to write in this box for a few days in a row, but it's harder to get the words to flow from my mind to the keyboard. It's hard for me to get my feelings out to begin with, but the constant blur of noises puts the cherry on top. My niece's screams cut through the hum of the dryer and the obnoxious commercial from the tv. It's rare for a sense of calm in the household, and today is no different.
Choices have also been difficult for me recently. They aren't life changing choices either. Would you like to go to the movies? Dinner tonight? What are you doing Saturday? Should I watch top chef or man vs food? Screw the tv, maybe I'll read the rest of Anna Karenina. But I also have the Bell Jar I'd like to read too. I'd like to start taking a ceramic class, maybe pick up embroidery again. And instead of all this, I'll end up sitting here for the rest of the night, give up, drink and go to bed early.

Supposedly I am living. This is life. Want and need. The balance is futile.