A big storm came through last night, you'd think with the lack of rain in ohio right now everything would look lush and green, but instead everything looks watered down and heavy. Like the air and the plants have too much to carry.
I feel the same, heavy and too much to carry. I'm cynical of the upcoming job, i have become so used to failure and things not working out- that i expect it. And in every relationship I assume there are the ups and downs. We are doing good and we are doing not so good. This part isn't quite not so good yet but it isn't good either. And while another trails behind me, being more than friendly, I feel as though I am in a game of chess, looking to far ahead into the maybe zone. Over analyzing is my game.
Joe asked me what I wanted, I had to answer that moment and there wasn't any restrictions, so there could not be any excuses. He said he wanted to get into a car and drive off to deadwood. He would have zero worries of car problems or money problems. He wouldn't have to worry about his job or family or friends. Honestly- when he asked me what I wanted, at that exact moment- I felt like baking.
I am a simple girl with simple pleasures. When it comes to the most base things in life, I'd rather see someone else happy then be comfortable on the sidelines.Life is better when you can make someone else improve their day. I'm a gift giver, a cooking mama, a big hugger, and an even bigger lover. So tomorrow I think I am going to take out a couple recipes and begin to improve someones day.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
the old and the new
The cycles of life make my head spin. Went to a funeral yesterday, my first open casket. It was strange to see the man laying there, knowing it was just an empty shell of a man who once was there. It was harder to see his family sit there, watching each person giving there respects to this man's life. I didn't know him to well, I am close friends with his daughter, who is having a difficult time handling this. I don't have many memories with him but what I do have is full of beatles, rock shows, and an old man who was a little too flirty with his daughters friends. But still always such a cheerful man.
And on the day of his unfortunate death the circle made it's full round,and a new life has begun. Joe's niece has come to this world. A little earlier than expected, but she is well. Welcome little one, I hope the lights aren't too bright and the nurses are gentle with you.
And in the pulling of the tide, I'm still waiting for things to begin. The stress of bills will always pull me into the reality that I cannot live life until it is paid full and clear. I've begun to go through time, by pulling out old memories in my closet. Some are dusty old laughs, some are unfortunate memories I wish I hadn't pulled out. But as I pull out each one, I sort and clean, get rid of the old and put the new in it's place. It's refreshing to have things in it's place, although it's a mess now things will be where all should be. Perhaps afterwards the waiting won't be so long.
And on the day of his unfortunate death the circle made it's full round,and a new life has begun. Joe's niece has come to this world. A little earlier than expected, but she is well. Welcome little one, I hope the lights aren't too bright and the nurses are gentle with you.
And in the pulling of the tide, I'm still waiting for things to begin. The stress of bills will always pull me into the reality that I cannot live life until it is paid full and clear. I've begun to go through time, by pulling out old memories in my closet. Some are dusty old laughs, some are unfortunate memories I wish I hadn't pulled out. But as I pull out each one, I sort and clean, get rid of the old and put the new in it's place. It's refreshing to have things in it's place, although it's a mess now things will be where all should be. Perhaps afterwards the waiting won't be so long.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Maybe in this interviewing stage of hell I should remind myself of rules. Do not leave an acceptance of a job over a message. It's been 2 days and I haven't gotten any validation of the message.
The interviews are seriously hell. The phone tags, the analyzing of what they meant, deciphering red flags, finding out if they are psychos. Oh and the rate game, no one wants to ask how much they are willing to pay or how much you are willing to be paid. My favorite part is when the parent prints out a sheet of questions they found on the internet and decides to use them. Unfortunately dear parents, I've read the questions, and have had a lengthy course on interviewing skills in the nanny world. Ask me all of those questions and I will answer them to your heart's content.
Honestly, I love kids, I want to nanny, and I'm tired of the games.
Everything else is ok. Relationship is good. Family is moving along. Friends are the usual mess. Bills are out of control. But still nothing that isn't to new or something I haven't seen before. I feel like I am in the limbo stage of life, just waiting to get to the next part.
The interviews are seriously hell. The phone tags, the analyzing of what they meant, deciphering red flags, finding out if they are psychos. Oh and the rate game, no one wants to ask how much they are willing to pay or how much you are willing to be paid. My favorite part is when the parent prints out a sheet of questions they found on the internet and decides to use them. Unfortunately dear parents, I've read the questions, and have had a lengthy course on interviewing skills in the nanny world. Ask me all of those questions and I will answer them to your heart's content.
Honestly, I love kids, I want to nanny, and I'm tired of the games.
Everything else is ok. Relationship is good. Family is moving along. Friends are the usual mess. Bills are out of control. But still nothing that isn't to new or something I haven't seen before. I feel like I am in the limbo stage of life, just waiting to get to the next part.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
It really sucks that I wrote a great post, but then had to delete it because I was afraid that in the future someone important might read the goods and bring it back to me. And that's just to chancey here.
But- I got a job offering. Not from any agency or school, but on my own with a few helpful websites and a little bit of confidence. Let's see if this works out...
But- I got a job offering. Not from any agency or school, but on my own with a few helpful websites and a little bit of confidence. Let's see if this works out...
Friday, September 07, 2007
waste of time
Hi my name is jobless mcnanny and for the life of me I can't get a family. I actually had someone call yesterday, there first question was, "What are your rates?" this question is so loaded. I've low balled myself so much lately it makes me sick. SO i mention what I would prefer then what I can be negotiated to work for. This was the response, " Oh you know what? Can I call you back this afternoon, I'm a little busy." I said sure then realized she didn't have my number. Ask me my rates PLEASE before calling me. And by the way, she never called and never emailed.
Unfortunately according to every agency I go to, my age is what scares people the most even though I carry myself so well. This is something I have zero control over.
And please don't ask me for a second interview and get my hopes up if you know you have a problem with my age.
Don't waste my time.
Unfortunately according to every agency I go to, my age is what scares people the most even though I carry myself so well. This is something I have zero control over.
And please don't ask me for a second interview and get my hopes up if you know you have a problem with my age.
Don't waste my time.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
I'm sitting here with my coffee within reach and calming music blasting over any other noise.
I need something a little calming.
I've heard nothing from the family, which probably isn't their fault, but yet the school/agency I am unfortunately attached to. I hear it's chaos, a huge revolving door with the recent staff walking out. And that is a very unfortunate situation for them but ESPECIALLY me. If my agent is gone they will hire a new agent, and new agents concentrate on the new class with little focus elsewhere. And kids, I'm old news with bad luck. I have harassed the school repeatedly within the past 2 days. Calling up probably too often, but I need a job. NOW.
Maybe I should contact this family on my own, no contract but a job.
I have been contacted by two other families from craigslist and the newspaper. Since when was it ok to pay private childcare minimum wage? Or under? I saw one ad that offered 3-4$ based on experience...no words for that.
I need something a little calming.
I've heard nothing from the family, which probably isn't their fault, but yet the school/agency I am unfortunately attached to. I hear it's chaos, a huge revolving door with the recent staff walking out. And that is a very unfortunate situation for them but ESPECIALLY me. If my agent is gone they will hire a new agent, and new agents concentrate on the new class with little focus elsewhere. And kids, I'm old news with bad luck. I have harassed the school repeatedly within the past 2 days. Calling up probably too often, but I need a job. NOW.
Maybe I should contact this family on my own, no contract but a job.
I have been contacted by two other families from craigslist and the newspaper. Since when was it ok to pay private childcare minimum wage? Or under? I saw one ad that offered 3-4$ based on experience...no words for that.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
I feel like a big tired pile of myself today. Feet are sore, eye lids puffy, and no cell phone. At least for awhile. Which is a strange relief, I don't have to worry if the stupid thing is charged or not, no worries to check it every 5 minutes, no worries about having the right ringer at the right time. But unfortunately that means I am a step behind with news, events, gossip, you name it. And no one likes to call up a house phone these days. Oh and don't forget I am saving money.
Had my second interview with a family yesterday, which is a very good sign. Not many families do second interviews anymore. They need a nanny and they need one now, so skip the second interview and go with the gut. Which can be good or bad. Maybe if I had a second interview with the other family, I might have seen what the deal was. Anyways, the kids were great. I successfully distracted a 3 year old for a full hour. Which is impressive because he had 0 attention span which I witnessed from the first interview and what I was told after. We made button people, which was fun for the 7 year old and fun for the 3 year old. We had glitter, popsicle sticks, buttons, crayons, construction paper- they loved it. I have a good feeling about the family. Even if it doesn't work out for me, the family will be great to some other nanny, but I am hoping the nanny will be me.
Had my second interview with a family yesterday, which is a very good sign. Not many families do second interviews anymore. They need a nanny and they need one now, so skip the second interview and go with the gut. Which can be good or bad. Maybe if I had a second interview with the other family, I might have seen what the deal was. Anyways, the kids were great. I successfully distracted a 3 year old for a full hour. Which is impressive because he had 0 attention span which I witnessed from the first interview and what I was told after. We made button people, which was fun for the 7 year old and fun for the 3 year old. We had glitter, popsicle sticks, buttons, crayons, construction paper- they loved it. I have a good feeling about the family. Even if it doesn't work out for me, the family will be great to some other nanny, but I am hoping the nanny will be me.
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